This article really pisses me off.

I agree that it is interesting in its talking points, but here’s why pieces like this bother me:

It is, at best, an agenda-based feature looking to fill an emotional and social void with an easy answer and commonly attacked problem. It’s based largely on speculation, rather than actual investigation. While its general idea isn’t without merit, it does not address the larger problem of body image, which is more a direct result of media (including articles like this!) than pornography, based on years of academic studies.

Many women’s magazines encourage all of these behaviors and have for over a decade. To pin that all on pornography is shortsighted. It mostly glosses over the actual opinion of males, and addresses how women perceive their sexual relationships and expectations (this is immensely important, of course, but it acts on the general assumption that this is the standard for males, which is irresponsible). That, again, is a vote for the idea that media is selling a certain lifestyle and approach to sex to women.

Beyond that, the general distinction of how a man views a woman has more to do with the individual’s makeup and his upbringing, rather than the pornography he has viewed in his lifetime. It’s sort of like saying that I only like amazing cakes that look like battleships because I watch Ace of Cakes all the time. While I’m not going to turn down an amazing battleship cake, the truth is that I much prefer an ice cream cake with a cookie crust, and it probably makes me happier and more excited in so many more ways than that battleship cake ever could, despite it appearing much less spectacular by comparison The general consensus would always be that the battleship cake looks way better, but in my eyes, they both look spectacular. My visceral excitement by both would be relatively equal, but I would only truly be happy and satisfied with what matters to me. Which, contrary to popular belief as assessed by both the media and my friends, has nothing to do with looking ideal in anyone’s eyes but mine.

And I’m not trying to trivialize our romantic and sexual relationships by comparing them to food, but I think it’s a fair comparison. It’s about preferences, and the reality is that our preferences are not shaped solely by the most unrealistic version of one of our desires.

The point: it’s not that there aren’t good ideas in the piece, but it’s mostly generalizations backed up by opinions. It reads like a conversation at the salon, which is an insult to journalistic investigation. There’s a lot of “the people I talk to…” moments, and let’s be fair, the people you find in random places could tell you anything. I know my male friends don’t talk about sex this way. It’s incredibly dangerous to generalize when you’re talking about who we are and what we want as a generation or society. It’s the worst kind of journalism because it plays to emotional insecurity, rather than truly informing us of anything substantial.

Furthermore, it’s insulting. I have always marveled in the natural beauty of every woman I’ve dated. I could say the same for my best friends, who talk about their girlfriends as if they are revelations. Relationships, I’m sorry, are still sacred to many and that includes everything that happens in the bedroom. We are all beautiful and sexy in our own ways, and the inability to embrace that in a person has less to do with porn and more to do with poor emotional and social development, of which, porn is at best partially responsible.